


Fragile Heart

by Anath_Tsurugi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Berserker Kallus, Flashbacks, Idiots in Love, Injured Zeb, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23952193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anath_Tsurugi/pseuds/Anath_Tsurugi
Summary: With a certain conversation between them left unfinished and Zeb a captive of the Empire, Kallus struggles to keep himself from losing it.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 16
Kudos: 129
Collections: Kalluzeb appreciation week 2020.





	Fragile Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here's my first piece for Kalluzeb Appreciation Week. Today's theme was a toss up between Tender and Prisoner of the Empire. At first, I couldn't decide which of the boys I wanted to write as the prisoner, but then realized I could just do two projects. This little ficlet and then a podfic I've been meaning to do, which should hopefully be up by the end of the day. So enjoy! Let's kick this week off right.

"We're coming up on Koraani now," Hera reported tensely as the _Ghost_ broke out of hyperspace above the Mid Rim world, already heading straight for the dilapidated construction station orbiting the planet. "And you're sure this is the place, Rex?"

"Oh, I'm sure," the old clone said, his expression hard as he moved to stand behind the pilot's chair. "Even if I wasn't, Kallus isn't likely to let us forget it anytime soon."

"Speaking of, Ezra, you want to go make sure he's ready?" Kanan asked his padawan.

"Sure," Ezra muttered, glaring uncertainly out the forward viewport before turning to head out to the crew quarters.

"He's really not doing any better," Sabine told him when he passed by, her helmet already in place as she checked her weapons.

"Believe me, I know," the young Jedi said, not really looking at her as he moved by. Ever since Rex and Kallus had docked back with the _Ghost_ after their catastrophe of a mission, he had been able to sense the precariousness of former Agent Alexsandr Kallus' mental state, and he knew it was beginning to wear on both him and Kanan.

But really, could the man be blamed after what he'd seen?

He, Rex, and Zeb had been on a scouting mission and run afoul of an Imperial patrol.

The two humans had made it out, but Zeb had been captured.

And now...now they were going to get him back the only way they could.

The question now was, was Kallus ready to assist in this fight?

XxX

Breathe.

_He sees the relieved look in Zeb's eyes as the Lasat pushes him clear of the line of fire, all the way through the blast door. But he also sees the way those eyes widen sharply in pain when a blaster bolt hits him in the shoulder._

_"_ _**ZEB!** _ _"_

Kallus flinched at the memory, on his knees in the middle of Zeb and Ezra's quarters. Struggling for the simple function of breath, he fought to draw some measure of comfort from his partner's familiar scent.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

_He sees the Lasat go down, sees his body twist in agony as he hits the floor. But when he makes a move to go back to him, Zeb looks up at him with desperate pleading in his eyes._

_"Go."_

_"Zeb-"_

_"Get outta here._ _**Go!** _ _" he insists._

_"You can't ask me to-"_

_"I said_ _**GO!** _ _" Zeb snarls, using his last bit of strength to shove his bo-rifle across the floor to Alex._

The ex-Imperial trembled as he ran his fingers over the weapon lying across his knees. For Zeb to give him this meant only one thing.

He didn't expect to survive.

_Kallus' fingers close around the weapon without thought._

_"Zeb- no!"_

_Zeb smiles helplessly at him through his pain and exhaustion. "Sorry. Guess we won't get to have that conversation after all." Then he lifts his eyes to something behind Kallus and says only, "Rex...get him outta here."_

_Then arms are closing around him, pulling him away from Zeb._

_"No!_ _**No!** _ _" he starts in panic, struggling against the clone's hold on him. The last thing he sees before the blast doors close between them is that fool Lasat...smiling at him._

_"_ _**L'ashkerrir an** _ _."_

_Then the door is sealed and Zeb is lost to him. He doesn't speak a_ _ **lot**_ _of Lasana, but he knows enough to know the meaning of_ _ **those**_ _words._

_**I love you.** _

_"_ _**NOOO!** _ _"_

Rex had dragged him screaming from the building. They had gotten the intel to the Alliance, but...what would be the cost paid in the end? He had decided very nearly on the spot not to find out. With the Lasat's bo-rifle strapped to his back, he had informed the _Ghost_ crew he would be going after Zeb...even if it meant disobeying direct orders.

Hera's immediate response had been to _order_ Zeb's rescue as Phoenix Leader.

His resolve hadn't made the journey to Koraani any less stressful. He knew where the patrol would be stationed, and they were now going to get their Lasat back the only way they could – a foolhardy, practically suicidal run against an Imperial garrison.

 _I_ _ **cannot**_ _lose you, Garazeb. Not now. Not_ _ **now.**_

Not when Zeb had left him on _those_ words. Not when the _conversation_ Zeb had talked of had ended with the Lasat laying a tender kiss on his lips and him being unable to do anything but stand there in shocked amazement. What must the former guardsman have thought? That Kallus didn't return his feelings? That he'd risked their friendship for nothing? He couldn't let his partner die thinking such things.

 _I_ _ **do**_ _have an answer for you, Zeb,_ he thought as he ran a hand lovingly over the barrel of the rifle. _You_ _ **cannot**_ _die before I give it to you._

"We- we _are_ gonna get him back, you know?" Ezra's voice came from behind him, more likely responding to something he'd _felt_ from him rather than anything he'd actually _said_.

"Of course we are," the former agent said, something in his voice going hard as he collapsed the bo-rifle down to sling it onto his back, climbing to his feet.

_I will have you back...or I will die trying._

XxX

Kanan didn't need to see Kallus to know how viciously he went after his former comrades.

In fact, he probably saw _more_ than those who could actually see.

He could sense Sabine and Ezra's shock at the ferocity the ex-Imperial unleashed. He could feel Rex's combined awe and unease at the way the man was tearing through stormtroopers when he was one who tended to go easier on the bucketheads.

More than the reactions of the others, though, he could sense what was coming from Alexsandr Kallus himself.

He could feel the dark and seething desperation that emitted from the former agent in frightening bursts. He could feel how close to total loss of control he was, like some berserker from an ancient battlefield reaping his way through his enemies.

In the truly intense moments, he could even feel how Zeb's bo-rifle almost seemed to _burn_ in the man's hands. In some eerie way, despite his race, despite _everything_ , it seemed that Kallus had somehow been born for the weapon...been molded for the swing and the heft and the jab and the switch of it. It was the same unsettling grace and precision of witnessing a force-wielder who was truly at one with their lightsaber – both beautiful and terrible to behold.

But beneath that terrifying warrior's veneer, there flickered the thought that Kallus clearly couldn't allow himself to give in to.

The fear that this was all for nothing.

_If he dies...if he dies, I- I..._

But he needn't have worried. The Lasat was still breathing when they reached him, if barely conscious. And again, the blind Jedi did not need to be able to see to know how Kallus pressed a relieved, desperate kiss to the former guardsman's lips.

That he could perceive quite plainly from the reactions of the other Spectres, and from the numbing wave of sheer relief that coursed from the man's battered soul.

XxX

Zeb hadn't really expected to regain consciousness, so that of itself was a pleasant surprise. What was even _more_ pleasant a surprise was the head of blond hair that rested against the side of his bunk, rising and falling with the steady movement of his breath.

"Kal?" he called out softly, reaching out a single clawed hand to touch that lovely golden hair.

The combination of his voice and his touch was enough to jerk the former Imperial from his fitful sleep. Blinking awake as he looked up at him, the uncertainty that had haunted his dreams quickly melted into relief.

"You're awake," he said with a smile that about broke Zeb's heart with its open joy.

"More'r less," he returned, feeling a faint thrum of pain in his body as he cupped his partner's face in his hand. Remembering Kallus' unresponsive shock at his previous actions, he briefly attempted to pull away from him, but Kallus put a stop to that with a fierce and insistent grip, holding his much larger hand against his face with both of his. The former agent closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch, clearly reveling in the feel of it. Zeb was almost amazed to see silent tears spilling down the man's pale cheeks.

"Oh, _Zeb_ ," he whispered, voice at once broken and jubilant. "You could've died. You _could have died!_ "

"Alex, I..." he started hesitantly, wiping away some of the tears with his thumb, "before...I thought- when you didn't-"

"You didn't exactly give me a _chance_ to respond, Garazeb," Kallus scolded him with a little laugh. Even now, it was a sound the ex-Imperial made rarely and he _loved_ to hear it. "Of _course_ I had an answer for you, you fool Lasat. I _love you_ ," he declared, his voice soft but so very fervent as he shifted his head to the side to press a tender kiss to the palm of Zeb's hand. Then he whispered against the now damp skin, "How could I _not_ love you? You who redeemed me from my own darkness."

"Aw. C'mere, you," Zeb purred low in his throat as he drew his partner up into a proper kiss. He could feel several protesting twinges of pain from his injured body that he could tell would preclude much further activity, but he didn't mind so much. For now, he had the man he loved in his arms and he couldn't be more overjoyed.

"Glad to see you're awake, Zeb, but you know I _am_ going to need back in my room at some point," Ezra's voice sounded from the entryway.

Without even looking up from Alex, Zeb threw a two-fingered rude gesture at the young Jedi before turning his full attention right back to the kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hwoo boy. There were so many points in here where I wanted to expand and write a bigger story, but I did try to keep this self-contained. You'll get the longer stories later in the week. For now, I hope you've enjoyed this little teaser. ;D


End file.
